Where to Turn When You Feel Like There’s Nowhere to Turn

Where to Turn When You Feel Like There’s Nowhere to Turn

OK – so I’m going to get real with you now. Sometimes life just plain sucks. Your friends are jerks, your parents are on your case, your siblings are brats – you feel ALONE. It happens. And when it happens, it can be the worst feeling in the whole world. You feel like you're completely alone, like no one else could possibly understand. But here’s something I want YOU to understand: I get it, because I’ve been there. In fact, we’ve all been there.

Sometimes it’s easy to talk ourselves into the foolish belief that some people in our lives don’t have any problems at all – their lives are perfect. Let me tell you something: the fact that we’re all human means we’re all growing all the time – and sometimes growth is just plain painful. It can be uncomfortable to think about growing up, going to college, getting a job, moving out of the house you grew up in. Even though they’re brats and you’d never admit it to their faces, you’re really going to miss your brothers and sisters when you're out on your own.

Then there’s dating. Maybe the girl or guy you like doesn’t know you’re alive. Or maybe you thought it was true love and then he/she dumped you. Maybe you’re gay and not sure how your friends – or parents – would respond if they knew. Maybe you want desperately to go to a dance, but you’re shy and don’t know how to dance and you’re afraid people will laugh at you. Maybe you’re pregnant and you don’t know what to do.

Whatever you’re going through – someone else has already gone through it. That might not seem like helpful information right now. In fact, you may think I’m trying to diminish your problems. Exactly the opposite, my friend! I’m just trying to say that you’re not alone. You’re not weird. You’re not crazy. And you don’t have to go through it by yourself.

Where can you turn when it seems like there’s no one to talk with? Here are a few ideas … now don’t judge them without at least considering them.

• Your parent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle – even if they don’t live near you
• The parent or older sibling of a friend
• An older relative or neighbor
• A teacher – maybe one you don’t have for a class right now
• A guidance counselor
• A peer advisor or counselor
• A trustworthy student – not necessarily a friend
• A coach
• A scout leader
• An adult advisor for an extracurricular activity
• Your priest, rabbi, or minister
• Your youth minister
• Another person from your church – or a church you don’t go to

If you really don't feel comfortable talking with any of these people, here are some hotline numbers that might help.

• Youth America Hotline: 1-877-968-8454 (peer-to-peer hotline that links callers to community-based peer counseling hotlines across the country)
• National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-RUNAWAY (support for runaways and those considering running away)
• The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (support for suicidal LGBT teens)
• New Avenues for Youth: 1-800-995-7936 (support for homeless and at-risk teens)
• American Pregnancy Helpline: 1-866-942-6466 (support and resources for unplanned pregnancies)
• National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (support for rape, incest, date rape)

And if none of those options works, email me at Albert@AlbertMensahStudentSpeaker.com. The main thing I want you to take away from this message is that whatever you’re going through – no matter how bad, weird, ugly, disappointing, depressing, or other – you don’t have to do it by yourself. Please reach out for help – it’s there for you if you will only look for it.

_______________________

ALBERT MENSAH is a champion of opportunity and achieving one’s dreams. Rising from humble beginnings in Ghana, Africa, Albert has become one of the world’s leading student motivational speakers, regularly presenting to groups such as FCCLA, FFA, FBLA, DECA, 4-H, and numerous school assemblies and student council groups. Visit his website to book him to speak at your student assembly, career day, or state or national teachers’ conference.

Giving to Others Is a Phenomenal Way to Grow

Giving to Others Is a Phenomenal Way to Grow

Volunteer comes from middle French, meaning “one who offers himself for military service.” It wasn’t long until the term evolved to mean “one who takes action of their own free will.” Understandably, the contemporary definition of the verb is “freely offer to do something.” In the US, teens and youth are among the most prolific volunteers, and they continue to do so in increasing numbers.

Why is youth volunteerism so important? 

Volunteering helps teens develop an understanding of the world outside themselves. Also, giving to others improves self-esteem at a critical time when teens often can use just such a boost. It also is useful for exploring and enhancing personal skills. Some teens volunteer to build their résumés in preparation for college. Others do so as part of service programs through their schools or churches. Others still do volunteer work through organizations like 4-H, the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts.

According to the US Bureau of Labor statistics, 27.4 percent of teens between 16 and 19 volunteered in 2012. They donated nearly 9 million hours collectively, saving the organizations for which they worked an estimated $191 million. Teens make up the second largest age group of volunteers – and those whose parents volunteer are much more likely to donate their own time and talents to causes they care about. Youths who start volunteering early are likely to become lifelong volunteers.

Personal Benefits to the Youth Who Volunteer

While communities and organizations directly benefits from student volunteers, the students themselves also receive numerous measurable benefits. As a 2000 University of Nevada at Reno Cooperative Extension fact sheet notes:

• Teens who volunteer just one hour or more a week are 50 percent less likely to abuse alcohol or cigarettes, become pregnant, or engage in other destructive behaviors,
• Volunteering teens describe receiving benefits like learning to respect others, understanding people who are different, and developing leadership skills.
• Youth volunteers are more likely to do well in school, graduate, and vote.

Increasing Youth Volunteering

If you would like to encourage the students in your life to get involved in volunteer activities, here are a few things you can do:

• Invite them to join you when you volunteer.
• Encourage them to get involved in volunteering at an early age.
• Discuss the benefits, including making new friends and building a positive self image.
• Encourage your school to provide volunteer opportunities, perhaps even making a certain number of community service hours a graduation requirement.
• If your students will be staying in town for spring break, offer volunteering as an option to stay busy.

Help the teens in your life discover the ways in which they’d like to volunteer by helping them explore:

Types of volunteer opportunities

• Are they interested in volunteering with a group?
• Would they prefer a one-time experience or regular gig?
• Are they more interested in office work, fundraising, physical labor, or working directly with people in need?

How they can apply their interests and passions to their volunteer work

o   Do they have an interest in animals? 

o   Do they have a friend or family member suffering from an illness?

o   Do they have a special skill or talent like art, construction, science, or music?

Whether they’d like to use their volunteer efforts to get some real-world experience

o   Could they use this time to develop their writing skills?

o   Do they have organizational skills that could be put to good use?

o   Are they looking to enhance and improve their leadership skills?

_____________________

ALBERT MENSAH is a champion of opportunity and achieving one’s dreams. Rising from humble beginnings in Ghana, Africa, Albert has become one of the world’s leading student motivational speakers, regularly presenting to groups such as FCCLA, FFA, FBLA, DECA, 4-H, and numerous school assemblies and student council groups. Visit his website to book him to speak at your student assembly, career day, or state or national teachers’ conference.

Do you have what it takes to be a Student Leader?

Do you have what it takes to be a Student Leader?

Student leaders are in a unique position to use their influence to make a difference on campus. Leadership can take a formal structure, like participating in student government or a less formal arrangement, like simply being a student others look to for guidance and support. Regardless of the way they lead, student leaders are a necessity, as other students, teachers, and administrators count on these teens to share ideas, improve morale, and facilitate communication.

Though they don’t get paid or receive credits or grades for their efforts, student leaders gain invaluable life lessons, like decision-making, communication, and teamwork. None of those is a still that can be learned from a textbook or in a classroom. As a student leader, you can take actions that will impact your campus, community, family, and environment.

Deciding right now that you want to be a leader, and how you want to lead, will give you the best chance to take advantage of all the leadership opportunities that will come your way, both in high school and as you go on to college or a job. Student government, athletics, the arts, and worship circles are all great places to test the waters and decide how big a role you might want to take.

You may be eager to assume a leadership role, but are you capable of assuming the necessary responsibilities? Do you truly understand the personal price of leadership? Sure it’s all smiles when things go well – but as a leader, you must also be willing to take responsibility when things don’t turn out so well.

Qualities of a Student Leader

Integrity. Trustworthy, honesty, and reliable follow-through are the foundation of integrity and the most important quality of a student leader.

Compassion. Sincere leaders step up out of a desire to help others succeed; compassion for those others is a necessary component of strong leadership. Demonstrating a caring attitude is one of the best ways of influencing others and getting them to join your effort.

Contemplation. The best leader learns from the past and plans for the future, but takes action in the present.

Influence. A leader is someone who sets a good example and can offer ideas when asked, but leaves it to others to decide to follow/participate.

Initiative. An accomplished leader has good ideas and knows how, when, and with whom to share them.

Planning. Great leaders bring their teams onboard with their plans, explaining the expectations and setting realistic timetables.

Flexibility. A good leader doesn’t freak out or start pointing fingers when things don’t go as planned. They take responsibility and look for ways to make improvements next time.

Delegation. A strong leader knows the capacities of his or her team and assigns tasks to the appropriate people.

Chances are you have some aspect of leadership skills – it may just be a matter of finding the best outlet for your particular talents. The next step is stepping up.

_______________________

ALBERT MENSAH is a champion of opportunity and achieving one’s dreams. Rising from humble beginnings in Ghana, Africa, Albert has become one of the world’s leading student motivational speakers, regularly presenting to groups such as FCCLA, FFA, FBLA, DECA, 4-H, and numerous school assemblies and student council groups. Visit his website to book him to speak at your student assembly, career day, or state or national teachers’ conference.

If You’re a Teen Who Drinks, You’re a Teen Who’s Dumb

If You’re a Teen Who Drinks, You’re a Teen Who’s Dumb

Adults just don’t get it sometimes, right? They have no idea what it’s like to be a teenager, trying to fit in – just trying to get through school and life. Why should we listen to old people who don’t have a clue what we’re going through?

I really wouldn’t blame any teen for thinking this way. It may seem to many high school students that the adults in their lives were always grown-ups – or that it’s been a hundred years since they were teens, so how could they possibly know what teenagers are experiencing now? If this is you, you’re absolutely right that things have changed since your parents and teachers were your age. Social media. Cell phones. The Internet.

Some things haven’t changed, though – the effects of alcohol being a BIG one. Well, even that’s changed somewhat – in that the definition of legally drunk used to be between 0.1 BAC (blood alcohol content) and .015. Now, it’s down to 0.08 in every jurisdiction in the country, and in some places it’s even lower than that – meaning it takes a lot fewer drinks to be legally drunk.

Oh, no – not another lecture on the dangers of teen drinking! I can hear the whining from here. Here’s the thing. I’ve met thousands of teens and students across the country – but I haven’t met all of you yet. I want to meet you, though – and my chance to meet you in person seriously decreases if you drink before you’re 21 – especially if you drink and drive, or get in a car with a driver who’s been drinking.

Here are my very own Top 10 reasons why I hope you’ll wait till you’re of legal age to drink – and keep it under control when you do.

10. It’s far too easy to lose control and do something stupid – or illegal. An adult friend of mine recently told me she’s never been drunk. “I didn’t do it to avoid peer pressure,” she said. “I did it because I didn’t want to lose control.” Losing control means you no longer make good decisions. Just think about the bad decisions you’ve made when you weren’t drunk … do you really want to go there?

9. Your smart friends think you look like a bonehead. Another thing my friend told me about why she never drank in high school was, “I watched the smartest people I knew turn into total idiots, and I didn’t want that to happen to me.” Yep – your friends notice, even if they don’t say anything. If you’re a student leader, it’s probably best to avoid looking like a jerk at your friend’s party because you got drunk.

8. Every drink kills some of your brain cells – and once they’re gone, they’re gone, never to grow back. It’s true – you might be a smartypants now, but keep drinking and you won’t be for long. You’re at the start of your life, perhaps just getting ready to head off to college. Why not wait till you’ve lived a little before you start killing off those precious brain cells?

7. You may have no memory of what you did. Blackouts among teen drinkers are much more common than in adults – simply because you’re not invincible, and your body just can’t handle giant quantities of liquor. There’s one sure way to avoid needing to have your friends fill you in on your drunken exploits over the weekend because you just don’t remember them: don’t get drunk in the first place.

6. Puking at a party is a bad way to enhance your reputation. Google is littered with stories of teens bragging that they only get buzzed after 6 or 7 drinks. Really? Although the amount of alcohol it takes to get drunk varies based on your  body weight, gender, and metabolism, no one – and I mean NO ONE – looks cool after getting drunk enough to get sick, fall down, or pass out. And then you’ve got to see these people at school on Monday...

5. Colleges and employers won’t be very understanding about those drunk pictures your best friend took. Sure, you were just kidding around when you peed in the school fountain, got that crazy tattoo, TP’d the neighbor’s house, or worse … but our online pasts can catch up with us at really inconvenient times, like when we’re applying to great colleges or interviewing for the jobs of our dreams. Is drinking now really worth screwing up your future?

4. Drunk texting (or dialing) can cause problems once you sober up. We’ve all heard about calling the ex in the middle of the night – but what about texting to get the last word in an argument or sexting when we’d never do that if we were sober? I think I already said this: drinking causes normally smart people to do dumb things – things they may regret later. Are you smart? Don’t you want to stay that way?

3. You could go to jail. Yep, underage drinking is ILLEGAL. I hope you have better reasons for not doing it, but a reminder about staying out of jail and not having to explain it to your parents may be all the motivation some need.

2. You could die – or kill someone you love. No – I’m not Dr. Doom-and-Gloom. I’m just an adult who wants you to stay alive so you can go to college, fall in love, have kids, and live a great, long life. Whether you die or you take someone else’s life because you were drinking, your life is over. Please don’t ever get behind the wheel when you’ve had too much to drink. Find a designated driver, call a cab, or crash at your friend’s house instead.

1. You can have a great time without getting drunk. Problem drinkers think they have to drink in order to relax, enjoy a party, or just be themselves. You may know a problem drinker, but you probably aren’t one, which means you can have a great time without leaning on booze or beer. Don’t think it’s possible? Parties are about hanging out with your friends … laughing, sharing, connecting. Hold a no-beer party and find out if it isn’t MORE fun than watching everybody get stupid.

For more info on what it means to be (legally) tipsy, check out this WallStreet Journal story.

If you or someone you know has a problem with alcohol, my first advice is to turn to a trusted adult. If that’s not possible, here’s a website with some resources that can help: http://www.samhsa.gov/underagedrinking

I value you – and I hope you value yourself and your friends too much to start drinking before you’re ready for it. Tell me your stories so I can share them with others.

_________________

ALBERT MENSAH is a champion of opportunity and achieving one’s dreams. Rising from humble beginnings in Ghana, Africa, Albert has become one of the world’s leading student motivational speakers, regularly presenting to groups such as FCCLA, FFA, FBLA, DECA, 4-H, and numerous school assemblies and student council groups. Visit his website to book him to speak at your student assembly, career day, or state or national teachers’ conference.